Surviving Winter

This photo pretty much sums up this chapter.

 

The Yucatan - Cichen-Itza before the crowd

Anja and I took a trip down Yucatan way in December on my break between chemo rounds.

Airborne - Ranger - Infantry

Disclaimer: Some may find the below written disturbing.
Italics indicate lyrics of a cadence we used to sing while running in the morning. The rest is just my not-so-humble-opinion.

big bird, big bird, in the sky

all will jump some will die

will my number be the one that comes up

I'll thank God if I only throw up

paratrooper-paratrooper how'd you get down

T10 charlie big and round

fight for the troops says the pin on your lapel

from the cloak of an ivory cell

will you rise when no one else will

put some fucker in your sights, send 'em to hell?

airborne-ranger how'd you get back

100 pound rucksack on my back

have yourself a go, go ahead sign up

put your money where your mouth is - will your number come up

see real quick what your all about

when your political bullshit is covered in doubt

airborne-ranger, where've you been

'round the world and back again

a nine-tailed cat, on tail number ten

but it's seventeen grand to do it again

paratrooper - ranger who are we?

death from above; infantry

badassed we are, but maybe not,

at the 20 year twilight of the clock

power of pride is easy as pie

easy as a sticker on your ride

home isn’t right, it’s a pain in the ass

all people worry about is the price of gas

map-of-the-earth charlie-one-forty-one

puked in a bag, but it don't help none

scared pretty bad, if my mind goes there

just one step into thin air

big-bird, big-bird in the sky

all will jump, some will die

Origin of Fretwater

Fretwater Falls

Fretwater is the name of a rapid in Desolation Canyon, named by explorer John Wesley Powell in 1869 after his expedition wrecked a boat there. Powell travelled nearly 1000 miles down an uncharted river naming things as he went. Fretwater is one of my favorite John Wesley Powell place names. It's also a good one word description of the events in 2008 that led me to start this collection.

The Chemo Chair

I wrote this during an 8 hour day in the chemo chair. That day was just another day in the treatment regimen that followed a stage 4 cancer diagnosis about 8 months prior. It reflects a bit of the bitterness I feel toward the government and their lack of respect for returned veterans. This piece is a little bit metaphorical and could be perceived as being a little dark so if your not in the mood, don't read it.......anyway consider yourself forewarned. Here's what the chemo chair looks like.

 

 

The Chemo Chair 1-23-09 
 

chemo chair….day who knows  

a rats poison, so it don’t grow

bones on fire 

lightning from toes

zofran for breakfast  

so it don’t go

hiccups four hours 

midst of night

couch for a week 

then I’ll take flight
 

ipod an island in another time 

determination is my mind

“mind over matter” is what they say
 the pep and the hype an easy delay

of the fear and rage, eventually seen through 

easy to say, hard to do

memories of then, and yet to come?  

scraggly ol' hair doo, long since done

supercuts on Thursday one-fifteen 

been a long time...twenty years it seems?

...since the Army? nineteen eighty-eight. 

VA says we won’t bear the weight

two bronze stars a couple pounds more

who’d have known there’d always be war

who's gonna tell some kid….hardly eighteen

the recruiter......in his army greens?

not hardly, as I recall 

certainly the ghost of the VA halls

midst of night, a terrible fight 

thousand pound bombs of the Navy long

into Iraq they go

twenty years ago

 from Iraq I’ve come

body numb

twenty years it takes

to acknowledge the weight

acknowledge I do

through the national news

pissed I become

until I’m dumb

descend I do 

to the crater blew

ascend I will

from the bombs sweet swill

body is bum

mind must run

to water blue.... 

easy to say, hard to do